I do art because I have to. Art is a huge part of who I am. It is often my only way to reach parts of me that I buried long ago, and that rarely and reluctantly respond to my attempts at communication. Of course, there are times when I neglect my work, usually when I am depressed. I am beginning to see that the longer I go without making an artistic statement, the deeper my depression becomes. If I neglect my art, I neglect myself.     Art is the only form of meditation that I practice. I find that the light trance I enter is invigorating. The only time I am completely present, and at the same time comfortable and happy with myself, is when I am creating.     Since I tested positive for HIV my work has become less haphazard and more disciplined. My output has increased. Not knowing how much time I have and with the threat of death brought to my attention on a daily basis, frees me to work as I wish.